Proof Bill Gates is the Spawn of Satan

In case there was still room for doubt:

LONG BEACH, California (AFP) – Microsoft founder turned disease-battling philanthropist Bill Gates loosed mosquitoes at an elite Technology, Entertainment, Design (TED) Conference to make a point about the deadly sting of malaria.

“Malaria is spread by mosquitoes,” Gates said while opening a jar onstage at a gathering known to attract technology kings, politicians, and Hollywood stars.

“I brought some. Here I’ll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected.”

Is it just me, or does that sound like a scene from a Bond film?  My personal sources tell me that he then cackled maniacally, and made some pun before falling through a hole in the floor through which he slid to the safety of his personal Jet.  The man is planning to kill America’s best and brightest, not to mention our richest, so that he can purchase America, and make us as efficient and secure as the Windows operating system.

God help us all…

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6 Responses to Proof Bill Gates is the Spawn of Satan

  1. ChocoMooseMan says:

    I think your sources are questionable. CNN says he cackled maniacally, then strapped a jetpack to his back, and launched over the crowd while playing an all air-guitar solo to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven, then proceeded to his flying helicarrier after getting to the jet you mentioned. They’re also reporting a strange old man accompanying him and some little round things going around making people install Windows Vista on everything.

  2. Keljeck says:

    Well, CNN must have their story wrong. In order to take his jetpack to a helicopter, he’d have to break through the ceiling, which, of course, would ruin his plan.

  3. ChocoMooseMan says:

    But I never said he broke through the ceiling. And YOU never said anything about a helicopter. SO WHICH IS IT, HUH?! HUH?!

  4. Dragonmati says:

    Good thing the Linus guys never got an invitation. The resistance is yet to continue!

  5. Dragonmati says:


  6. Bob The Builder says:

    wow… you guys are a bunch of idiots… i hope you stop smoking the happy pipe.

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