Let’s Learn Judo With Vladimir Putin!

Yes, let’s.

ST. PETERSBURG, Russia – Vladimir Putin is out on video as a judo master. Russian state-controlled media already have shown the powerful prime minister at the wheel of massive racing truck, shirtless on a fishing excursion, and tracking a tiger through the Siberian forest — just a few of the he-man presentations designed to boost his public image.

On Tuesday, he presented an instructional judo DVD that bears his name and shows him throwing an opponent to the mat.

I’m… kinda speechless.  He’d be approaching Kim Jong-Il proportions of hilarious propaganda if I wasn’t somewhat sure he COULD do this.

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9 Responses to Let’s Learn Judo With Vladimir Putin!

  1. Billy Crystal says:

    You know Kel, I’ve gotta love the sheer literary prowess and talent you express in adding just one line of comment to whatever obscure article you can manage to find. Truly, your death will be swift and painless! And by swift I mean slow and by painless I mean excruciating.

  2. Keljeck says:

    Swift and painless is nothing like slow and excruciating Billy Crystal! They mean the exact opposite!

  3. Billy Crystal says:

    Maybe in YOUR world, Kel, but in my world without your sense of reason and logical, there is only the duality, where one cannot exist without the other, what is slow without fast? what is swift without slow? what is excruciating without pain? NOTHING! *kicks Kel in the shin*

  4. Dragonmati says:

    Actually… slow and fast could cancel each other off on their own… with the Theory of Relativity!

  5. Billy Crystal says:

    *curb stomps Mati* NO! They cancel each other out together! On their own they are slow, or just fast. Our perception of them would be of only fast or only slow as such it would create a state that we could not judge what is fast and what is slow and thus assume what is just is! That would not distract from the fact that they are two entirely different things! Just because your perception tells you that fast is normal does not make it true! They are two sides of the same coin, and without them together, they cannot exist! YOU WILL SUBMIT TO MY AWESOME BRAND OF BILLY BABBLE!

  6. Dragonmati says:

    Or we could replace the word “slow” for “less fast”, or vice versa, and therefore have an have an equal effect, with the same concept, not needing the other, in say an independent society and culture where “slow” doesn’t exist.

  7. Billy Crystal says:

    Ah, but how would we conceive of less fast if there is no slow? The fact is, we wouldn’t. Because fast would be all we know, and we would not suspect anything else but fast was possible. If fast was all there was, there would be no middle ground, there would only be fast, we would not be able to conceive of less fast, because that would be to assume there is a slow when there isn’t.

  8. Keljeck says:

    Billy Crystal speaks the truth for once.

  9. Billy Crystal says:

    Thank you, Kel, at least someone here is speaking some sense. *kicks Kel in the shin again before flying away*

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