Billy Crystal Update

Billy Crystal is out of the ICU, and will live.  However the chemical explosion managed to burn off half of his body, and… well.  Billy Crystal knew how much the readers of A Nice Place™ wanted to know how he was doing.  So he sent us this image:

Billy Crystal is evidently a very happy victim.  How the chemical managed to discolor his teeth, whiten his beard, and redden his eye is yet to be determined.  But Billy Crystal is set to have plastic surgery some time this week and should be reasonably back to normal.

Once again, more on this as it develops…

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22 Responses to Billy Crystal Update

  1. Billy Crystal says:

    Plastic Surgery? Hah! You’d have to be a fool to think I’d throw away an oppurtunity like this. I’m already speaking with Uwe Boll about a remake of The Dark Knight.

  2. Keljeck says:

    Curse you Billy Crystal! You’re turning evil! EVIL!

  3. Billy Crystal says:

    It’s not my fault, really. My bed was in the same room as Bob Saget.

  4. ChocoMooseMan says:

    I leave and this is the type of thing you advertise? For shame, Kel, for shame. I mean, name one decent movie he was in. Sure, Meme #9 sounded good, but now that’s all over. Why do you even dignify him with a response?

  5. Dragonmati says:


  6. Billy Crystal says:

    I don’t like you, Moose, can I call you Moose? You see Moose I’m what they call in the film industry an excellent actor. Now you may not understand this as everything you’ve ever aspired to has probably been crap. In fact I bet you haven’t even been in a movie, huh?! YOU THINK YOU CAN SAY THESE THINGS AND GET AWAY WITH IT?! I’LL SHOW YOU! I’LL SHOW ALL OF YOU! *flies away for real*

  7. Keljeck says:

    Stop that Billy Crystal! ChocoMooseMan is a veteran here and deserves some respect!

  8. ChocoMooseMan says:

    Yeah! I have a patch!

  9. Dragonmati says:

    And Prune juice! … But that isn’t the point! The Point is that YOU Billy Crystal are no match to my superb acting animations! (Coming to A Nice Place™ near you!)

  10. Billy Crystal says:

    You think I’m worried about some silly animation? Some stupid little stunt by some punk kid?! WELL I’LL TELL YOU SOMETHING MATI! Can I call you Mati? MATI, THERE’S NOT A DAMN THING I CAN’T DO WHILE I HAVE THIS NOSE. You see, there’s a reason my nose is still it’s perfect self, it’s beautiful, sculpted wholeness that is MY nose, Mati.

    You see, as the acid came flying at my face, from that janitor…that STUPID janitor, Mati. My lifelong exercises and skills all culminated into one moment of sheer will to save my nose. I sacrificed half my face that day, but it was not in vain.

    You may think ME vain for all of this, all of you, but my nose means so much to me you see. You have to understand my nose hasn’t always been like this. It started out normal, you could barely tell my ancestry, but every day I would exalt in the tradition of my fathers and forefathers. I would sit in the synagogue with the other boys, reading the Torah. They would all tease me, saying my nose wasn’t right. Even the Rabbi, who was always more ashamed of me than he was of the others when I got something wrong, he would tease me, he’d always squeeze my nose and say “Why so Jewish?” You understand me? Why so Jewish!? HA!

    He thought he was hot shit, but I’ve shown him, and I’ll show you, too. I was only able to see half of the janitor’s nametag before he blinded me. Salu something…I’ll find him first, and teach him a lesson in chance, then we’ll see about giving the rest of you a taste of…CHEMICAL X!!!

  11. Keljeck says:

    You’re scaring me Billy Crystal.

  12. Billy Crystal says:

    You think that’s scary, Kel? Have you ever been dropped from 32,000 feet with laser beams heating your buns the whole way? No? Well then, let me show you something. *flies away with Kel*

  13. Dragonmati says:

    You kind of look like an Ewok hybrid now that I think about it.

  14. Billy Crystal says:

    Ewok? What is that? Some form of idiot from a movie not involving me? How dare you sully my reputation by comparing me to an idiot! I’ll have you castrated for this! And believe me, it’s much more painful with laser beams.

  15. Billy Crystal says:

    And don’t think I don’t know what a Hybrid is, either! What, is it some sort of fabric?

  16. car jacks says:

    It’s the first time I comment here and I must say that you give us genuine, and quality information for other bloggers! Great job.
    p.s. You have an awesome template . Where have you got it from?

  17. Pirsey says:

    The topic is quite hot on the Internet right now. What do you pay the most attention to when choosing what to write ?

  18. Lindsy says:

    Dear Friends, Happy April Fool’s Day!!

    It was three o’clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. “Please come quickly!” she yelled, “I just saw a naked man outside my window!!!” The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady’s room.
    “Where is he?” asked the receptionist.
    “He’s over there,” replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.
    “It’s probably a man who’s getting ready to go to bed,” she said reassuringly. “And how do you know he’s naked, you can only see him from the waist up?”
    “The dresser, honey!” screamed the old lady. “Try standing on the dresser!”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!

  19. dawg2009 says:

    how pathetic is this?!? you couldn’t even photoshop it to where it looks real.

  20. Gareth says:

    I never realised how much I wanted Billy Crystal to play Two-Face until today.

  21. Jasper says:

    Man you guys are really annoying.

  22. Jasper says:

    Billy crystal you’re just plan butt ugly and mean

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