PETA has done it again! Their suggestion to use human breast milk instead of cow milk has inadvertently downplayed one of my master plans! How could THIS be a part of my plan you ask? Well, my intent was to convince several large dairy companies that human breast milk was better and more feasible then using cows. An obvious lie but lets face it they would listen because I am me and they are them. I would then offer to take the cows off their hands since they would be useless and then when they found out that human breast milk can’t possibly ever work, I would essentially control the dairy industry with an iron fist. But now that PETA has suggested this ridiculous plan I can’t possibly follow through. Even my great charisma can’t compete with the stupidity of PETA.