Curses, foiled again!

PETA has done it again! Their suggestion to use human breast milk instead of cow milk has inadvertently downplayed one of my master plans! How could THIS be a part of my plan you ask? Well, my intent was to convince several large dairy companies that human breast milk was better and more feasible then using cows. An obvious lie but lets face it they would listen because I am me and they are them. I would then offer to take the cows off their hands since they would be useless and then when they found out that human breast milk can’t possibly ever work, I would essentially control the dairy industry with an iron fist. But now that PETA has suggested this ridiculous plan I can’t possibly follow through. Even my great charisma can’t compete with the stupidity of PETA.

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7 Responses to Curses, foiled again!

  1. Keljeck says:

    I feel sorry for you Visc. Now with this economy, evilness must not be paying as much as it could.

  2. visculas says:

    All these other villains are starting from technological companies, I seek to own the essentials in living. This isn’t the first time PETA has ruined my operations. I doubt it will be the last either.

    P.S. Don’t worry about the economy, we’ll get things under control.

  3. Billy Crystal says:

    Hm, Visculas is it? Mysterious name, mysterious fellow. Tell me, what kind of nutrient comparison charts have you done? What tests have you done doing a side by side diagnostic between those raised on moo milk and those raised on rage milk? Did you know some breast milk can contain heavy toxins and has been the cause of several infant deaths? Is that what you want? Baby Killer! YOU MAKE ME, BILLY CRYSTAL, SICK! *flies away*

  4. visculas says:

    Lets face the facts Billy, human breast milk can’t work. Its Inhumane and completely implausible. I just needed to give a reason for the dairy farmers to let my buy all of their cows. It was supposed to be an overnight transition of power. It saddens me to know that my charisma is not as invincible as it should be when put up against ignorance and stupidity.

  5. Billy Crystal says:

    *flies back* You should be sad, do you know how many women would kill for the chance to be milked for a living? It’s a very easy job. You go in, chew some cud, get your breasts massaged, and at the end of the day you feel lighter. What’s so inhumane about that?

    And of course your charisma would fail, for it cannot even compare to my own! And there’s no such thing as an overnight transition of power, all logical people know power changes into it’s nightwalker form of influence, so as to draw those weak enough under it’s grasp. Then as night turns to day, reveals that the secrets it held were all lies and the influence has corrupted more for it’s unending cause!

    But don’t worry Viscey, can I call you Viscey? You see Viscey, even if all of the dairy farmers cows became useless to them as dairy cows, they still wouldn’t sell them to you. They’d make more money selling them to McDonalds or Taco Bell. More than likely taco bell. I mean come on, that is not grade a beef, am I right? of course I’m right. I’m Billy Crystal.

  6. Keljeck says:

    Don’t you have a movie to work on Billy Crystal? Why do you spend your time trolling A Nice Place™?

  7. Billy Crystal says:

    Because I’m doing research for my next big movie. Meme #9, where I play an effeminate but endearing nerd who spends the majority of his time browsing the internet in search of the one true meaning behind it all.

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