Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel and Biggy’s Christmas: The North Pole Adventure

The following is a story I wrote in the third grade. I recently rediscovered it and thought it was so great I should share it.

The full title is

    Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel and Biggy’s Christmas: The North Pole Adventure

. I shall maintain all of the original grammar.

One day in the Wisconsin National forest, Mr. Squirrel went to the forest conact station. Where the raccoon family lives. The forest contact station is for contacting other forests around the globe! Right now Mr. Raccoon is contacting the North Pole! Mr. Raccoon was talking to Mr. Polar Bear. Mr Raccoon said, “oh dear! You don’t mean. Ok! Right! I’ll tell them, bye.” “Who was it? Mr. Squirrel said. Mr. Raccoon said, “It was Mr. Polar Bear from the North Pole. He said Santa did not come for his daily visit. What are we going to do?” Mr. Squirrel said, “I’ll see what I can do.” The next day Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel called a forest meeting. They talked about the Santa problem. Then Mr. Fox said, “We can use the rocketship to get to the North Pole.” Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel went back to their trees. Biggy was at school. (Biggy is Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel’s son) Mr. Squirrel didn’t break up the news to Biggy until supper. When Biggy came home. He went to his room, then at supper, Mr. Squirrel told Biggy the news and he told Biggy what they were going to do. At the North Pole John, a North Pole explorer, was in his house WHERE HE HAS SANTA! John is a mean man. He didn’t want kids to get toys for Christmas. Back in Wisconsin, the next day, Mr. Fox and his son, Tom, were fixing the rocket. At noon the rocket was ready. Biggy, Tom, and John went in to play. At 1:00 p.m they blasted off. It took a week to get to the North Pole. They landed in front of Santa’s workshop. Where they met elves. They stayed there for the rest of the day. The next day they set off with a Santa radar. They found John’s house. Mr. Squirrel went in with his wife. They found Santa’s cage, but they needed the key. They sent Biggy in. Biggy got the key and sent Santa free. Since John was gone, they got out and Santa went back home. They went on the racket and went home. When they got home, they all had a party, and had a very merry Christmas. A week later they got a letter from Santa thanking them for saving him in time. He said they could come anytime.

The End

To be continoud in….. Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel and Biggy’s Hawaiian Adventure.

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8 Responses to Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel and Biggy’s Christmas: The North Pole Adventure

  1. chocomooseman says:

    Seeing as how there are no known institutions that will wed squirrels I find your story pathetic and wrong. What you’ve just posted is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent story were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone viewing this is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  2. Keljeck says:

    Ok, a simple “that was bad” would have done just fine but uh…

  3. chocomooseman says:

    Whoa, whoa whoa, Tim! I got reasons! The part of the story I don’t like is that the little squirrel gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little squirrel’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog is lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that fucking dog!

  4. Keljeck says:

    What are you talking about? I never mention a puppy.

  5. chocomooseman says:

    It’s because I wanted to do one of those funny things, like on, you ever watch F Troop? where Agarn says “There’s no way I’m wearin’ a dress! Absolutely not! No dress!” And Forrest Tucker’s like, “Yeah, you’re wearing that dress! You’re gonna wear that dress!” And they wipe, and Agarn’s wearin’ a dress!

  6. Dragonmati says:


  7. chocomooseman says:

    Nah, I’m voting NegaDuck, Darkwing Duck’s evil alter-ego.

  8. says:

    hahahahah!!!!! love it!!!!

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